I think it is difficult to put in to words how important family has been for me. I have always told people that I was born in a “it takes a village to raise a child” community...where everyone knows everyone and everyone has some responsibility for the life and times of everyone elses children. I love the town where my mom grew up...somewhere behind the junction behind routes 35 and 36...just blocks away from the ocean...down the block from this family, around the corner from that family, just minutes away from their new house, their old house, or the house that <insert old family name here> used to own...I do love being here.
Family this weekend though has been really difficult.
I cannot think about how to summarize the thoughts in my head succinctly...so bear with me while I lay some groundwork.
Many of you know...
I was born in New Jersey, moved to California, back to New Jersey, down to North Carolina, on to Miami, up to St. Louis...graduated from college in North Carolina, moved to Georgia, up to Washington, DC, on to North Carolina and now I have landed back on the West Coast of Florida. I have moved a lot. I learned a lot from all of my moves...the have made me the person I am today, I do not hide that. But moving that much...
...SUCKS...
I moved after first grade, middle of second grade, middle of fourth grade, after sixth grade, middle of ninth grade...not to mention all of the house moves in between. I went to lots of different schools. I constantly had to make new friends. I never found the “forever friends” in school that so many people look back on. This is one of the reasons I (sadly) am complacent about letting friends drift away...letting friendships change...because my entire life I was forced to allow that to happen...because I moved, and in the late 80s and early 90s...we did not have Facebook.
My parents however, grew up in very different circumstances.
My dad was born, raised and lived in Cleveland, Ohio--Lakewood to be exact. His family lived in the same house until well after my dad graduated from high school...and when they moved from Ohio, they lived in the home in Key Biscane, FL that had served as a vacation home for the family. It was not until my dad was near 50 that they decided to pack up and move everything to a foreign location (to him), to a home in Dallas, Texas...closer to my Uncle, their youngest son, Rob.
My mom was born, raised and lived in Oakhurst, New Jersey...the village to raise a child community. My grandmother still, to this day, lives in the same house my mom moved in to when she was in third grade. My aunt and mom shared the back bedroom I am now staying in. The restaurants, shops, stores, everything really remains the same as it was when she left home in 1973 for college. Yeah--the “big box” stores have come up around the mom and pop places...but they are still there. This community has an allegiance to the old time values and reputation of stores that have been standing for 50+ years.
I don’t have this place.
I don’t have a “home I grew up in” with a childhood bedroom that reminds all who enter of a time when books and crafts filled my days (not much has changed) or a childhood room renovated sometime in adolescence when angst and defiance ruled the roost. I have memories of my blue plaid bedroom in South Orange, and even more fond memories of painting my wall in Miami with peace signs, smiley faces and yin yangs. I ALSO my dad cursing me when we had to move out of that rental home and remove the black paint I had used as a background...it was not my fault, he HAD given me permission to paint...and we worked together--paint chips flying all over the room--to scrape that teen angst off the walls...I HATED MIAMI...and I was very verbal about that...I HATED that they uprooted me from my life in North Carolina...and at 13 I didn’t know how else to articulate everything I was thinking and feeling.
Now--I am 28 years old. I have a life of my own. I have a job and a personal budget. I don’t go “home” as often as I should...but I don’t really have a reason to either. I don’t really HAVE a home. I never have. I have frequently said “I grew up at camp--it was the only place in my life constant and consistent from 9-27 years old!” It is true.
What I don’t understand now is why it is such a burden to keep anything in the house that is sentimental to either my brother or myself. Are my parents trying to create a kid-free space...that is unreal...my mother doesn’t understand the meaning of “cut the cord” and she would still take care of us daily if we would let her (I think). So, what is the big deal...you are moving a whole house...your are moving to a 3 bedroom house...my yearbooks and few other trinkets are not going to make or break the move...put them in a closet in the new house for all I care...but I want to feel like I have a “home” to come to...if and when I ever want to come home...the likelihood of that happening is greater too if I feel like there is a piece of me there...even if I never lived there...
I’m just saying....
FOR NOW...
LM
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
Friday, November 19, 2010
on getting back on track
I have to do it.
I want to do it.
I need to do it.
It is NOT as easy as it sounds. I have been sick for nearly 5 weeks. I did three rounds of antibiotics, different antibiotics. I have been on a prescription cough suppressant, inhaler, AND over the counter cough and cold medicines as well as your routine advil, tylenol and sudafed...welcome to the last 5 weeks of my life. If you remember any of it...please let me know...
So, for the past 5 weeks of my life I played a bit of kickball...and that is about it. I know, really active...
feel. like. junk.
I vowed this week to get back on track. Monday night, even though I got home at 8:15...I went on a bike ride...that was freaking scary. Why Tampa, WHY, must half of the lights on Bayshore be out, creating pitch-black darkness on half of the expanse!?! NOT OKAY...Tuesday morning I made it to the gym...by Tuesday night I was so sore and freaking fidgety I couldn’t sit still. Wednesday morning, I did an easy 20 minute bike ride. Thursday I was beyond figuring it out...sore, tired, and ready to be home...I postponed Thursday to Friday...
Here we are on Friday...I am still sore...my plan is to get to the gym after work...and then ride with Deb while she runs tomorrow...
AirHeads with kids Saturday night and a softball game Sunday...
We will see...
I am sore, I am tired, but I need to be on track...
I must be...
for now
LM
I want to do it.
I need to do it.
It is NOT as easy as it sounds. I have been sick for nearly 5 weeks. I did three rounds of antibiotics, different antibiotics. I have been on a prescription cough suppressant, inhaler, AND over the counter cough and cold medicines as well as your routine advil, tylenol and sudafed...welcome to the last 5 weeks of my life. If you remember any of it...please let me know...
So, for the past 5 weeks of my life I played a bit of kickball...and that is about it. I know, really active...
feel. like. junk.
I vowed this week to get back on track. Monday night, even though I got home at 8:15...I went on a bike ride...that was freaking scary. Why Tampa, WHY, must half of the lights on Bayshore be out, creating pitch-black darkness on half of the expanse!?! NOT OKAY...Tuesday morning I made it to the gym...by Tuesday night I was so sore and freaking fidgety I couldn’t sit still. Wednesday morning, I did an easy 20 minute bike ride. Thursday I was beyond figuring it out...sore, tired, and ready to be home...I postponed Thursday to Friday...
Here we are on Friday...I am still sore...my plan is to get to the gym after work...and then ride with Deb while she runs tomorrow...
AirHeads with kids Saturday night and a softball game Sunday...
We will see...
I am sore, I am tired, but I need to be on track...
I must be...
for now
LM
Thursday, November 11, 2010
on summer camp
We all have those people in our lives that come and go. There are connections with these people that will always be important, but I really do think that there are times and places when people enter your life for a purpose. I think ‘forever friends’ are something I want to believe in...but I am afraid that it is not something that I have (yet) experienced. There are some people I HOPE will always be part of my life...but really...that is just a side tangent to the reason I have decided to write today.
One of those people that played an important role in my life for years sent me a random email this morning. Now, I know that I could have worked harder to mend things...and I didn’t...but this email had no content and the subject line said “had to share...hope all is well” I was skeptical of the link included...honestly I thought it might be spam...but I clicked, risking virus and computer infiltration!
The link led me to a webpage titled “13 things your kid’s camp counselor won’t tell you” and it INFURIATED ME! There were some points that were spot-on...but most of this list was so contrary to the mutual camp experience we shared...as campers AND as staff members, I have become more and more irritated about it throughout the day...so, below...here are my thoughts on the 13 things. My comments are (I think) clearly noted...my comments are in blue!
13 Things Your Kid's Camp Counselor Won't Tell You
13 Things Your Kid’s Camp Counselor Won’t Tell You--IF YOU SEND THEM TO A SHODDY CAMP! (do your research parents!)
Sending the kids off to camp this summer? We granted anonymity to insiders from camps in Massachusetts, New York, Vermont, and Wisconsin so they'd share some of the secrets of their profession.
If you really want to find out the TRUTH about a summer camp experience, talk to someone that has grown up in the program...grew through camp and with camp and IS willing to share their name...well, I guess that is what I am doing now. I did not grow up at a camp in Massachusetts, New York, Vermont or Wisconsin...but I spent 18 summers at a camp in North Carolina...I hope that is acceptable...
Interviews by Adam Bluestein
From Reader's Digest
1. For the first week, the cries of the homesick are almost unbearable. After that: "Mom? Who's Mom?"
Here’s the truth...there are always one or two campers that are homesick. In the younger cabins it may even be one or two per bunk...but it is FAR from unbearable...and the reality of a camper that is homesick more than rest period and bedtime...when they stop to THINK about home...those campers are TRULY FEW AND FAR BETWEEN. When you are a summer camp counselor and you have a camper that cries a bit, there is something endearing and sweet when they wake you up in the middle of the night because they are scared, because they miss home, because they can’t sleep. When there is a good support system, there really isn’t anything that is unbearable. This one...truly debunked...NOT “the truth” about all summer camps.
2. Your kid is a lot less shy and a lot more competent than you think.
There might be some validity to this one. I recently found myself cleaning out a box of old notes and cards I had received at camp over the years. I found a letter from a parent whose daughter is now 18. I have been fortunate to stay in touch with this family for the past 10 years...as her daughter was in my cabin when she was 8. This was one of those kids that was a little weepy at camp the first week. She auditioned for the camp play, the Wizard of Oz. She was MAYOR of the muchkins...and she grew that summer. I could potentially argue that this is one isolated incident in one isolated cabin...but that group of girls grew together. The maturity of a group of 8 year olds is unbelievable when they are left to their own devices and given the guidance to move the right direction...but the opportunity to move at their own pace and make their own decisions. Bah, it is really incredible! I think the most exciting reality from my camp experience was the correspondence we had with parents during the summer away from home. The letters we send give insight into the growth the children are experiencing while away from home. Parents don’t always believe it while they are away...but as soon as they pick their children up, they see what we have been telling them. Summer camp helps children stand a little taller, walk a little straighter...and grow into even more dynamic individuals. So, while I agree with the assessment above that children are less shy and more competent than a parent might believe...I THINK, it is SUMMER CAMP that creates that strength...and brings out latent qualities children may not have tapped had they not spent a summer away from home!
3. Your son will shun clothing and may well go without showering for weeks. "It's like a frat you join when you're ten."
Now, I cannot fully speak about this as I have grown up at an all-girls summer camp...but, we do have a brother camp. There, 4 miles away by water and 7 miles away by land...I am fairly confident that my brothers, my best friends, and their little boy campers are in fact running around in little clothing, showering sparsely (well the campers, the counselors shower like 3 times a day to stay cool) and enjoying every single bare-footed moment on the river, in the swim late and at the Mess Hall.
At our girls camp, your children ARE wearing little clothing. They wear a bathing suit and shorts 85% of the time. Sometimes they wear shoes. When they are younger the shirts and shorts and yes, the shoes they choose in the morning often do not make it back to the cabin on their body (see 4 for more explanation) and they love it. What we do is make sure they are slathered in sunscreen. It is applied twice a day in the cabin, morning and afternoon...the activities keep stock to cover pinking shoulders and our international presence has reminded us to SLIP, SLAP, SLOP...slip into a shirt, slap on a hat and slop on some sunscreen...all to stay safe in the sun.
A number of years ago, the girls camp also underwent HUGE renovations in all of our cabins to make the shower more efficient in all of our cabins. Yes parents, our counselors make sure your children shower. When they are younger we also smell their breath to make sure they brushed their teeth...and we touch their hair to make sure it is not turning into a birds nest.
We care...and we want you to know we care. It is important to remember, it is also summer...and remember when you were little...you ran around the street barefooted as well! At camp, we just don’t have cars to worry about.
4. Don't bother with the labels--everything's going to get hopelessly mixed up anyway.
DISAGREE. Put a name label on every single thing your child brings to camp. Put it on their water bottle. Put it on their sunglasses (or the croakie attached to the sunglasses). Put it on their underwear, their towels, their shorts and if you can figure out a way to put it on their shoes so it will not rub off...put it on that.
These kids are living in cabins of 10-12 kids. I know that my favorite method of cleaning the cabin when the girls did not pick up their stuff was to have the TRASH MONSTER come in and sweep EVERYTHING into a trash bag and put it up high on the lockers where they couldn’t reach it. Example 1 of how important name labels are. You see, when we take that massive pile down and check to see what goes where and whose locker or laundry bag to sort things back into...that name is VITAL. ESPECIALLY when they are young.
Our camp also has a lost and found procedure where our camp center staff puts found clothes/shoes/water bottles with names on them in the cabin mail box to return to their owner. So, even if it was left across camp on an activity...it may take 2-3 days to make it back to cabin 17...but if it has a name on it, it will find your child. If you have two children at camp...Polly and Patricia say, and the item says P. Simon...and belongs to Polly...it may go back to Patricia...but it will get back to your house!
The best part about this for me is being 28 years old and occasionally pulling on a pair of shorts or a shirt or listening to a CD that has a bright and prominent LM, LLM or LMorgan on the tag...god bless! I love summer camp!
A FEW NAME AND LABEL HINTS--when you put a name in sharpie on plastic things...ie...water bottles, fans, brushes, bottles, etc...and a kid has sunscreen on their hands, the name smudges off. Invest in a great paint marker from a craft score. It will make the name stay while keeping your child sunscreened all summer! Additionally, the little iron on or sew in labels...NOT A GOOD INVESTMENT. They peel off. Especially when left in the sun or in the water...so then we find white little labels scattered all over the ground and clothing with no label attached. Here is the best strategy...first initial, last name. Just using initials will help in the cabin if things get lost INSIDE the living space...the chances of having duplicate initials in a cabin...slim...but when your child slips off their t-shirt and flops to go sailing...and leaves them at the pier...the SP you put in the tag may get that shirt back to Sarah Porter in cabin 3, Sasha Prince in cabin 22, Sam Potts in cabin 28, Sally Peters in cabin 43...and may never make it back to your precious Stephanie Phipps in cabin 9...get it?
5. As long as he or she is eventually found, we're not going to tell you about all the times we had to call a search-and-rescue for your child.
This might be the most disgusting phrasing for something that could happen to your child while they are out of your care. I know, this must be a parents biggest fear for sending their child away for the summer. Your child is your most precious gift and we need to treat every single child as if they were our own.
When you leave your child in a counselors care...you expect to know that your child is going to be safe and looked after at all times.
What is important to know as a parent is that we have incredible procedures in place to know where your child is...and if a moment arises when we do not know where they are...we quickly and efficiently find her.
When you are at a summer camp, surrounded by water and activities kids are bound to get excited and that is why we keep an eye on them the way we do!
We know where your children are...the idea that there is a mad-dash for search and rescue is an unfair image to present to ANY parent trusting counselors with the safety of their child! Sorry Readers Digest...this is disgusting!
6. Some of us are hung over every morning and rigidly enforce afternoon naptime not because the kids need the rest but because our heads hurt.
Maybe some camps have this problem. I am fortunate to have grown up at a camp with a zero tolerance policy for underage drinking. Our camp is in such a small town, when we leave camp...we scream camp all over us. Local restaurants, bars, shops and residents all know we are from ‘the camps.’ Even if our clothes don’t have a logo, our cars probably do...if not our sunglasses or our horrible tan lines!
Not only would a restaurant or bar call camp if someone underage was drinking...they would call if someone underage TRIED to order a drink. That right there, at our summer camp...is a bag packed for you and a one way ticket home.
We are really strict about our rest period too, but not because we are drunk...but because we are trying to keep them safe in the hot summer conditions. We wake up at 7:30 in the morning...clean the cabin...breakfast at 8, activities from 9:30-12:30, lunch at 1...and at 1:30 we cannot wait for rest period. You see, when it is 90-105 degrees in the sun...and the hottest time of the day is from 12-2...the most intelligent thing we can do to keep our kids safe is to GET THEM OUT OF THE SUN AT THE HOTTEST TIME OF THE DAY! That, is why Rest Period is so important! After rest period we head out at 2:30, activities until 5:30, dinner at 6, after supper hour from 7-8ish...and 8-9 or so in evening activities before devotions and bed as early as we can!
FAIL AGAIN Readers Digest...your kids DO need rest hour and it is to keep them healthy (and us healthy...) NOT because counselors were out late participating in illegal activities!
7. Even if it's not a coed camp, your teen is going to learn more about the opposite sex (accurate or not) than you want to know.
This is true...but it is not any more true then when they go to a sleepover! At an all-girls camp with a brother camp down the river, we get lots of little notes back and forth with the boys camp...but it is nice, so innocent, so old school, so traditional.
I love that we do skits about how to be nice to guys and that the guys are given guidance in how to ask a girl to dance, to complement her and to remember classic values.
Our girls cannot wear strapless dresses to dances. Their skirts have to be below their finger tip sand they have to bend to show appropriate top coverage and skirt coverage. It is just one more thing we do to keep your kids safe.
I know it is old-school...but I love it.
8. If they want to eat peanut butter and jelly for weeks in a row, there's really nothing we can do about it.
We can...and we do...Our meals are family style and we eat together every meal.
Kids try everything. They don’t have to eat it if they do not like it...but we ask them to try it.
IF and only if they try everything at the table and still won’t eat it, a counselor can get them a PB&J (IF there is nobody with a peanut allergy in the cabin)
9. We confiscate the "illegal" candy you send and eat it ourselves. For the kid's own good, of course.
Let me set the scene for you...it is somewhere between 85 and 100 degrees with 99% humidity! Cabins are wet places...they hang wet towels and wear bathing suits 90% of the time. Gone are the days of candy staying out in the cabin. Think about it, candy melts! So, some of my past campers would agree with this...that is when we had a ‘candy box’ in the cabin. It was a giant rubbermaid container where campers placed all of their candy sent by their parents...and once or twice a day the counselors would pull down that box and campers could go at it. We had a lot of sticky cubbies and lockers...and now...as much as I hated the idea of getting rid of the candy in packages...
we have finally succeeded...candy is no longer allowed into our cabins.
Find out the policy at the camp you are sending your child. If you follow the rules, and don’t send candy if it is not allowed. It will be removed and in our case...we donate it...we don’t break into camper candy stash...maybe some do...but we don’t...
10. Your kids will be plunged into icy water, submitted to exotic "tortures," and scared witless countless times--just because we think it's funny. ... Oh, and they'll love it.
This is where this article gets me...these counselors are lame. WHO WOULD EVER USE THIS LANGUAGE...knowing parents would read it and judge every summer camp based on these words.
“tortures” WHAT?!? We might live in a world that is overly critical of language...but I know, camps that are aware of where the world is...is very careful about what we do. We used to have “initiation” for our oldest campers...and now, we call it “induction” and it is a simple thing that makes our kids more safe.
We have lots of traditions, lots of things your kids will talk about that you might never understand...but they are far from “tortures” and yes, they will love it!
11. According to the American Camp Association, the typical camper return rate is about 60 percent, and 92 percent of campers surveyed say the people at camp "helped me feel good about myself."
AGREED...I didn’t just grow up at camp, I grew at camp...I kept going back year after year so I could help my campers succeed the way my counselors helped me reach the goals I had set for myself as a camper. This article may have a few merits...but it sure did take a LONG TIME TO GET HERE...
12. For weeks after coming home, your child is going to speak in incomprehensible camp slang and pine for people named Lunchmeat, Fuzzy, and Ratboy.
Okay, I agree with this one too. The entire drive home, the weeks to come, really, the entire year until returning to camp again inside jokes and stories that require MUCH more detail and backstory than worthwhile will flow out of their mouth. The stories will be about people and skits, songs and dances, cabin nights and more...I suggest taking the time to invest one afternoon in getting ALL of the lingo down...so every night, when they want to share a new story...you don’t have to get the 4-1-1 on every detail...it will make the story flow much more smoothly...consider learning these terms...they are pretty universal to most camps...
THE BLOB
CABIN/BUNK (mate)
learn the names of buildings on the campground
what are the activities your kids do daily/weekly...what are they called?
Cabin Night
Camp Night
Activity (including activities, rotations, ranks, books, etc.)
popular skits
EXAMPLE: my summer camp does skits every day for the evening program that night. At dinner we hear about “night life” and a skit follows. If you know WAY ahead of a story that night life is the skit to tell kids whey they are going to do after supper...every story about “the night life skit” gets much quicker.
You, as parents need to listen to the stories the kids want to tell...but also know, it is okay to not know what they are talking about. Just smile and nod if you have to...ask questions to clarify if you have to. Your camper (child) has hundreds of memories and stories to tell...let them share...when they will...but also, let them sleep for the requisite 48 hours or so once they get home.
13. We actually do this because we love your kids--and we'll probably do it again next year. (According to the ACA, the average return rate for staff is 40 to 60 percent.) Camp is worlds more fun as a counselor than it is as a camper.
Number 13 was really the saving grace of this article. It is true, most summer camp counselors are there because camp means the world to them too. It is not only your children that learn from camp...counselors learn from camp too. They learn from your kids. We cannot that YOU enough for sharing them with us. There are hard days and tough days and GREAT days...Either way, we would not do what we did for the summer if your kids were not so great!
Thanks for sharing them, but also know that this list posted by Readers Digest, a supposed “reputable” magazine is such an unfair representation of “camp” and what summer camp really CAN be for your kids...
Sorry for being a bit soapbox-y
for now
LM
One of those people that played an important role in my life for years sent me a random email this morning. Now, I know that I could have worked harder to mend things...and I didn’t...but this email had no content and the subject line said “had to share...hope all is well” I was skeptical of the link included...honestly I thought it might be spam...but I clicked, risking virus and computer infiltration!
The link led me to a webpage titled “13 things your kid’s camp counselor won’t tell you” and it INFURIATED ME! There were some points that were spot-on...but most of this list was so contrary to the mutual camp experience we shared...as campers AND as staff members, I have become more and more irritated about it throughout the day...so, below...here are my thoughts on the 13 things. My comments are (I think) clearly noted...my comments are in blue!
13 Things Your Kid's Camp Counselor Won't Tell You
13 Things Your Kid’s Camp Counselor Won’t Tell You--IF YOU SEND THEM TO A SHODDY CAMP! (do your research parents!)
Sending the kids off to camp this summer? We granted anonymity to insiders from camps in Massachusetts, New York, Vermont, and Wisconsin so they'd share some of the secrets of their profession.
If you really want to find out the TRUTH about a summer camp experience, talk to someone that has grown up in the program...grew through camp and with camp and IS willing to share their name...well, I guess that is what I am doing now. I did not grow up at a camp in Massachusetts, New York, Vermont or Wisconsin...but I spent 18 summers at a camp in North Carolina...I hope that is acceptable...
Interviews by Adam Bluestein
From Reader's Digest
1. For the first week, the cries of the homesick are almost unbearable. After that: "Mom? Who's Mom?"
Here’s the truth...there are always one or two campers that are homesick. In the younger cabins it may even be one or two per bunk...but it is FAR from unbearable...and the reality of a camper that is homesick more than rest period and bedtime...when they stop to THINK about home...those campers are TRULY FEW AND FAR BETWEEN. When you are a summer camp counselor and you have a camper that cries a bit, there is something endearing and sweet when they wake you up in the middle of the night because they are scared, because they miss home, because they can’t sleep. When there is a good support system, there really isn’t anything that is unbearable. This one...truly debunked...NOT “the truth” about all summer camps.
2. Your kid is a lot less shy and a lot more competent than you think.
There might be some validity to this one. I recently found myself cleaning out a box of old notes and cards I had received at camp over the years. I found a letter from a parent whose daughter is now 18. I have been fortunate to stay in touch with this family for the past 10 years...as her daughter was in my cabin when she was 8. This was one of those kids that was a little weepy at camp the first week. She auditioned for the camp play, the Wizard of Oz. She was MAYOR of the muchkins...and she grew that summer. I could potentially argue that this is one isolated incident in one isolated cabin...but that group of girls grew together. The maturity of a group of 8 year olds is unbelievable when they are left to their own devices and given the guidance to move the right direction...but the opportunity to move at their own pace and make their own decisions. Bah, it is really incredible! I think the most exciting reality from my camp experience was the correspondence we had with parents during the summer away from home. The letters we send give insight into the growth the children are experiencing while away from home. Parents don’t always believe it while they are away...but as soon as they pick their children up, they see what we have been telling them. Summer camp helps children stand a little taller, walk a little straighter...and grow into even more dynamic individuals. So, while I agree with the assessment above that children are less shy and more competent than a parent might believe...I THINK, it is SUMMER CAMP that creates that strength...and brings out latent qualities children may not have tapped had they not spent a summer away from home!
3. Your son will shun clothing and may well go without showering for weeks. "It's like a frat you join when you're ten."
Now, I cannot fully speak about this as I have grown up at an all-girls summer camp...but, we do have a brother camp. There, 4 miles away by water and 7 miles away by land...I am fairly confident that my brothers, my best friends, and their little boy campers are in fact running around in little clothing, showering sparsely (well the campers, the counselors shower like 3 times a day to stay cool) and enjoying every single bare-footed moment on the river, in the swim late and at the Mess Hall.
At our girls camp, your children ARE wearing little clothing. They wear a bathing suit and shorts 85% of the time. Sometimes they wear shoes. When they are younger the shirts and shorts and yes, the shoes they choose in the morning often do not make it back to the cabin on their body (see 4 for more explanation) and they love it. What we do is make sure they are slathered in sunscreen. It is applied twice a day in the cabin, morning and afternoon...the activities keep stock to cover pinking shoulders and our international presence has reminded us to SLIP, SLAP, SLOP...slip into a shirt, slap on a hat and slop on some sunscreen...all to stay safe in the sun.
A number of years ago, the girls camp also underwent HUGE renovations in all of our cabins to make the shower more efficient in all of our cabins. Yes parents, our counselors make sure your children shower. When they are younger we also smell their breath to make sure they brushed their teeth...and we touch their hair to make sure it is not turning into a birds nest.
We care...and we want you to know we care. It is important to remember, it is also summer...and remember when you were little...you ran around the street barefooted as well! At camp, we just don’t have cars to worry about.
4. Don't bother with the labels--everything's going to get hopelessly mixed up anyway.
DISAGREE. Put a name label on every single thing your child brings to camp. Put it on their water bottle. Put it on their sunglasses (or the croakie attached to the sunglasses). Put it on their underwear, their towels, their shorts and if you can figure out a way to put it on their shoes so it will not rub off...put it on that.
These kids are living in cabins of 10-12 kids. I know that my favorite method of cleaning the cabin when the girls did not pick up their stuff was to have the TRASH MONSTER come in and sweep EVERYTHING into a trash bag and put it up high on the lockers where they couldn’t reach it. Example 1 of how important name labels are. You see, when we take that massive pile down and check to see what goes where and whose locker or laundry bag to sort things back into...that name is VITAL. ESPECIALLY when they are young.
Our camp also has a lost and found procedure where our camp center staff puts found clothes/shoes/water bottles with names on them in the cabin mail box to return to their owner. So, even if it was left across camp on an activity...it may take 2-3 days to make it back to cabin 17...but if it has a name on it, it will find your child. If you have two children at camp...Polly and Patricia say, and the item says P. Simon...and belongs to Polly...it may go back to Patricia...but it will get back to your house!
The best part about this for me is being 28 years old and occasionally pulling on a pair of shorts or a shirt or listening to a CD that has a bright and prominent LM, LLM or LMorgan on the tag...god bless! I love summer camp!
A FEW NAME AND LABEL HINTS--when you put a name in sharpie on plastic things...ie...water bottles, fans, brushes, bottles, etc...and a kid has sunscreen on their hands, the name smudges off. Invest in a great paint marker from a craft score. It will make the name stay while keeping your child sunscreened all summer! Additionally, the little iron on or sew in labels...NOT A GOOD INVESTMENT. They peel off. Especially when left in the sun or in the water...so then we find white little labels scattered all over the ground and clothing with no label attached. Here is the best strategy...first initial, last name. Just using initials will help in the cabin if things get lost INSIDE the living space...the chances of having duplicate initials in a cabin...slim...but when your child slips off their t-shirt and flops to go sailing...and leaves them at the pier...the SP you put in the tag may get that shirt back to Sarah Porter in cabin 3, Sasha Prince in cabin 22, Sam Potts in cabin 28, Sally Peters in cabin 43...and may never make it back to your precious Stephanie Phipps in cabin 9...get it?
5. As long as he or she is eventually found, we're not going to tell you about all the times we had to call a search-and-rescue for your child.
This might be the most disgusting phrasing for something that could happen to your child while they are out of your care. I know, this must be a parents biggest fear for sending their child away for the summer. Your child is your most precious gift and we need to treat every single child as if they were our own.
When you leave your child in a counselors care...you expect to know that your child is going to be safe and looked after at all times.
What is important to know as a parent is that we have incredible procedures in place to know where your child is...and if a moment arises when we do not know where they are...we quickly and efficiently find her.
When you are at a summer camp, surrounded by water and activities kids are bound to get excited and that is why we keep an eye on them the way we do!
We know where your children are...the idea that there is a mad-dash for search and rescue is an unfair image to present to ANY parent trusting counselors with the safety of their child! Sorry Readers Digest...this is disgusting!
6. Some of us are hung over every morning and rigidly enforce afternoon naptime not because the kids need the rest but because our heads hurt.
Maybe some camps have this problem. I am fortunate to have grown up at a camp with a zero tolerance policy for underage drinking. Our camp is in such a small town, when we leave camp...we scream camp all over us. Local restaurants, bars, shops and residents all know we are from ‘the camps.’ Even if our clothes don’t have a logo, our cars probably do...if not our sunglasses or our horrible tan lines!
Not only would a restaurant or bar call camp if someone underage was drinking...they would call if someone underage TRIED to order a drink. That right there, at our summer camp...is a bag packed for you and a one way ticket home.
We are really strict about our rest period too, but not because we are drunk...but because we are trying to keep them safe in the hot summer conditions. We wake up at 7:30 in the morning...clean the cabin...breakfast at 8, activities from 9:30-12:30, lunch at 1...and at 1:30 we cannot wait for rest period. You see, when it is 90-105 degrees in the sun...and the hottest time of the day is from 12-2...the most intelligent thing we can do to keep our kids safe is to GET THEM OUT OF THE SUN AT THE HOTTEST TIME OF THE DAY! That, is why Rest Period is so important! After rest period we head out at 2:30, activities until 5:30, dinner at 6, after supper hour from 7-8ish...and 8-9 or so in evening activities before devotions and bed as early as we can!
FAIL AGAIN Readers Digest...your kids DO need rest hour and it is to keep them healthy (and us healthy...) NOT because counselors were out late participating in illegal activities!
7. Even if it's not a coed camp, your teen is going to learn more about the opposite sex (accurate or not) than you want to know.
This is true...but it is not any more true then when they go to a sleepover! At an all-girls camp with a brother camp down the river, we get lots of little notes back and forth with the boys camp...but it is nice, so innocent, so old school, so traditional.
I love that we do skits about how to be nice to guys and that the guys are given guidance in how to ask a girl to dance, to complement her and to remember classic values.
Our girls cannot wear strapless dresses to dances. Their skirts have to be below their finger tip sand they have to bend to show appropriate top coverage and skirt coverage. It is just one more thing we do to keep your kids safe.
I know it is old-school...but I love it.
8. If they want to eat peanut butter and jelly for weeks in a row, there's really nothing we can do about it.
We can...and we do...Our meals are family style and we eat together every meal.
Kids try everything. They don’t have to eat it if they do not like it...but we ask them to try it.
IF and only if they try everything at the table and still won’t eat it, a counselor can get them a PB&J (IF there is nobody with a peanut allergy in the cabin)
9. We confiscate the "illegal" candy you send and eat it ourselves. For the kid's own good, of course.
Let me set the scene for you...it is somewhere between 85 and 100 degrees with 99% humidity! Cabins are wet places...they hang wet towels and wear bathing suits 90% of the time. Gone are the days of candy staying out in the cabin. Think about it, candy melts! So, some of my past campers would agree with this...that is when we had a ‘candy box’ in the cabin. It was a giant rubbermaid container where campers placed all of their candy sent by their parents...and once or twice a day the counselors would pull down that box and campers could go at it. We had a lot of sticky cubbies and lockers...and now...as much as I hated the idea of getting rid of the candy in packages...
we have finally succeeded...candy is no longer allowed into our cabins.
Find out the policy at the camp you are sending your child. If you follow the rules, and don’t send candy if it is not allowed. It will be removed and in our case...we donate it...we don’t break into camper candy stash...maybe some do...but we don’t...
10. Your kids will be plunged into icy water, submitted to exotic "tortures," and scared witless countless times--just because we think it's funny. ... Oh, and they'll love it.
This is where this article gets me...these counselors are lame. WHO WOULD EVER USE THIS LANGUAGE...knowing parents would read it and judge every summer camp based on these words.
“tortures” WHAT?!? We might live in a world that is overly critical of language...but I know, camps that are aware of where the world is...is very careful about what we do. We used to have “initiation” for our oldest campers...and now, we call it “induction” and it is a simple thing that makes our kids more safe.
We have lots of traditions, lots of things your kids will talk about that you might never understand...but they are far from “tortures” and yes, they will love it!
11. According to the American Camp Association, the typical camper return rate is about 60 percent, and 92 percent of campers surveyed say the people at camp "helped me feel good about myself."
AGREED...I didn’t just grow up at camp, I grew at camp...I kept going back year after year so I could help my campers succeed the way my counselors helped me reach the goals I had set for myself as a camper. This article may have a few merits...but it sure did take a LONG TIME TO GET HERE...
12. For weeks after coming home, your child is going to speak in incomprehensible camp slang and pine for people named Lunchmeat, Fuzzy, and Ratboy.
Okay, I agree with this one too. The entire drive home, the weeks to come, really, the entire year until returning to camp again inside jokes and stories that require MUCH more detail and backstory than worthwhile will flow out of their mouth. The stories will be about people and skits, songs and dances, cabin nights and more...I suggest taking the time to invest one afternoon in getting ALL of the lingo down...so every night, when they want to share a new story...you don’t have to get the 4-1-1 on every detail...it will make the story flow much more smoothly...consider learning these terms...they are pretty universal to most camps...
THE BLOB
CABIN/BUNK (mate)
learn the names of buildings on the campground
what are the activities your kids do daily/weekly...what are they called?
Cabin Night
Camp Night
Activity (including activities, rotations, ranks, books, etc.)
popular skits
EXAMPLE: my summer camp does skits every day for the evening program that night. At dinner we hear about “night life” and a skit follows. If you know WAY ahead of a story that night life is the skit to tell kids whey they are going to do after supper...every story about “the night life skit” gets much quicker.
You, as parents need to listen to the stories the kids want to tell...but also know, it is okay to not know what they are talking about. Just smile and nod if you have to...ask questions to clarify if you have to. Your camper (child) has hundreds of memories and stories to tell...let them share...when they will...but also, let them sleep for the requisite 48 hours or so once they get home.
13. We actually do this because we love your kids--and we'll probably do it again next year. (According to the ACA, the average return rate for staff is 40 to 60 percent.) Camp is worlds more fun as a counselor than it is as a camper.
Number 13 was really the saving grace of this article. It is true, most summer camp counselors are there because camp means the world to them too. It is not only your children that learn from camp...counselors learn from camp too. They learn from your kids. We cannot that YOU enough for sharing them with us. There are hard days and tough days and GREAT days...Either way, we would not do what we did for the summer if your kids were not so great!
Thanks for sharing them, but also know that this list posted by Readers Digest, a supposed “reputable” magazine is such an unfair representation of “camp” and what summer camp really CAN be for your kids...
Sorry for being a bit soapbox-y
for now
LM
Monday, November 8, 2010
on the postal service
Remember when I used to complain about data entry?
Yeah, I do too...Now, don’t go getting all crazy on me. Don’t think I miss it or I am dying to do it or wish I had MORE of it to do--because I DO still have some data entry...but there are some pieces of receiving all of those pieces of mail every day--things I do TRULY miss.
I think the thing I miss the most is the reality that every day I had tens of pieces of mail arrive with my name on it. It really did not matter if it was applications for regional events or payment for NFTY dues for teens from Delaware or Norfolk or Raleigh. It meant that every day I was getting mail, that wasn’t bills, that did not require deduction from my bank account, that noted I would be able see incredible teens.
Above all though, the best part of the mail was looking at the way hundreds of different people addressed their envelopes and the stamps they chose to use.
funny misspellings
Now, my name has been misspelled as long as I have known how to spell my name, well...longer. When I meet another Lindse/ay I ask first if she is an “ay” or an “ey” and that is always followed by the smile and the nod of understanding that Lindsey, Lindsay, Lyndsey, Lyndsay, Linzee, Lindse, Lindsie, etc etc etc...is one of the most commonly misspelled names, OF. ALL. TIMES.
What is better than my name being misspelled on every third envelope addressed to me, the spelling was on the paperwork being mailed!
NEXT...my office was on Massachusetts Avenue in DC. Confession-I learned how to spell Massachusetts in 7th grade for the states and capitals test...then I promptly forgot how to spell it because when I was hired in 2005 and I had to mail something to my new boss before I started working, I had to look up the spelling. Now--on these hundreds of pieces of mail I received It became evident that I was not the only college graduate that did not know how to spell Massachusetts. What’s better, the number of adult who seemingly admit defeat by addressing the envelope simply with Mass Ave. I would say 50% took the shortcut...and I would put money on it...it people were to HONESTLY answer...at least 25% of those people would not know how to spell Massachusetts...and 75% were too busy to bother they made sure it was spelled correctly.
Perhaps this is editorializing--but I am pretty sure I am right on when I say spelling is NOT (the collective, royal) “our” forte...
postmarks
They are really cool. I don’t know why I am fascinated with where people mail things from, how long it takes to get from point A to point B and the like, but I think postmarks are really cool. I loved receiving letters that had an atypical postmark. Sometimes it was causal, and a reminder to us all to think about this awareness month or that...I like seeing who mails things from work and who mails things from home, how long things take in town vs. out of state. I guess I am a nerd...I know.
It also made me smile when stamps had to be hand-stamped...I also loved when the mail carrier would notice stamps that snuck through and they would mark them off with a sharpie...the best though, the rare chance when all of the above would be missed and then I would get free stamps off the envelopes...you gotta be frugal when living in DC sometimes...
I also think it is humorous to see who blatantly disregards deadlines. When a piece of paperwork has to be postmarked by a certain date and it is clearly marked a week after that...like...do you really think when I, the person in charge of registration sets a deadline...I am not going to check and see if the deadline is met?!?
awesome stamps
Clearly though, the best part EVER about getting so much mail was looking at all of the stamps that came in to our office. Now, let me remind you...I worked for a Jewish organization and the events I hosted were for Jewish teenagers...yet, as soon as November came around, you better believe it, the Christmas stamps came rolling in...FUN!
It was fun to watch as new stamps came in...
Star Wars
Breast Cancer Awareness
Flowers
Americana
Birds
Disney
Vintage
It was even more fun to see when new stamps would come out, which ones would last longer and which would never hit the mail.
At some point I thought it would be cool to start collecting some of these stamps. I didn’t cut them all out, but when something across my desk that I had not seen or that were different I would clip them and slip them into an envelope under my keyboard.
I had totally forgotten about them until my car flooded last week...(okay, I left the sunroof open and it rained...) I had slipped that envelope into a compartment in my car and forgotten it was there. When I pulled everything out to see what got soaked, I decided to lay out the stamps so they would dry nicely...and now I am just trying to figure out what to do with all of these cool stamps.
If you have any cool craft ideas...let me know!
Whether or not the mail is actually for me, there was enjoyment in receiving it. I certainly miss the pseudo-love felt upon opening 15+ letters every single day!
for now though, maybe I will write a real letter so I can get one in return...
LM
Yeah, I do too...Now, don’t go getting all crazy on me. Don’t think I miss it or I am dying to do it or wish I had MORE of it to do--because I DO still have some data entry...but there are some pieces of receiving all of those pieces of mail every day--things I do TRULY miss.
I think the thing I miss the most is the reality that every day I had tens of pieces of mail arrive with my name on it. It really did not matter if it was applications for regional events or payment for NFTY dues for teens from Delaware or Norfolk or Raleigh. It meant that every day I was getting mail, that wasn’t bills, that did not require deduction from my bank account, that noted I would be able see incredible teens.
Above all though, the best part of the mail was looking at the way hundreds of different people addressed their envelopes and the stamps they chose to use.
funny misspellings
Now, my name has been misspelled as long as I have known how to spell my name, well...longer. When I meet another Lindse/ay I ask first if she is an “ay” or an “ey” and that is always followed by the smile and the nod of understanding that Lindsey, Lindsay, Lyndsey, Lyndsay, Linzee, Lindse, Lindsie, etc etc etc...is one of the most commonly misspelled names, OF. ALL. TIMES.
What is better than my name being misspelled on every third envelope addressed to me, the spelling was on the paperwork being mailed!
NEXT...my office was on Massachusetts Avenue in DC. Confession-I learned how to spell Massachusetts in 7th grade for the states and capitals test...then I promptly forgot how to spell it because when I was hired in 2005 and I had to mail something to my new boss before I started working, I had to look up the spelling. Now--on these hundreds of pieces of mail I received It became evident that I was not the only college graduate that did not know how to spell Massachusetts. What’s better, the number of adult who seemingly admit defeat by addressing the envelope simply with Mass Ave. I would say 50% took the shortcut...and I would put money on it...it people were to HONESTLY answer...at least 25% of those people would not know how to spell Massachusetts...and 75% were too busy to bother they made sure it was spelled correctly.
Perhaps this is editorializing--but I am pretty sure I am right on when I say spelling is NOT (the collective, royal) “our” forte...
postmarks
They are really cool. I don’t know why I am fascinated with where people mail things from, how long it takes to get from point A to point B and the like, but I think postmarks are really cool. I loved receiving letters that had an atypical postmark. Sometimes it was causal, and a reminder to us all to think about this awareness month or that...I like seeing who mails things from work and who mails things from home, how long things take in town vs. out of state. I guess I am a nerd...I know.
It also made me smile when stamps had to be hand-stamped...I also loved when the mail carrier would notice stamps that snuck through and they would mark them off with a sharpie...the best though, the rare chance when all of the above would be missed and then I would get free stamps off the envelopes...you gotta be frugal when living in DC sometimes...
I also think it is humorous to see who blatantly disregards deadlines. When a piece of paperwork has to be postmarked by a certain date and it is clearly marked a week after that...like...do you really think when I, the person in charge of registration sets a deadline...I am not going to check and see if the deadline is met?!?
awesome stamps
Clearly though, the best part EVER about getting so much mail was looking at all of the stamps that came in to our office. Now, let me remind you...I worked for a Jewish organization and the events I hosted were for Jewish teenagers...yet, as soon as November came around, you better believe it, the Christmas stamps came rolling in...FUN!
It was fun to watch as new stamps came in...
Star Wars
Breast Cancer Awareness
Flowers
Americana
Birds
Disney
Vintage
It was even more fun to see when new stamps would come out, which ones would last longer and which would never hit the mail.
At some point I thought it would be cool to start collecting some of these stamps. I didn’t cut them all out, but when something across my desk that I had not seen or that were different I would clip them and slip them into an envelope under my keyboard.
I had totally forgotten about them until my car flooded last week...(okay, I left the sunroof open and it rained...) I had slipped that envelope into a compartment in my car and forgotten it was there. When I pulled everything out to see what got soaked, I decided to lay out the stamps so they would dry nicely...and now I am just trying to figure out what to do with all of these cool stamps.
If you have any cool craft ideas...let me know!
Whether or not the mail is actually for me, there was enjoyment in receiving it. I certainly miss the pseudo-love felt upon opening 15+ letters every single day!
for now though, maybe I will write a real letter so I can get one in return...
LM
Wednesday, November 3, 2010
on halloween traditions
When I was little, we had a lot of Halloween traditions.
So, what does that mean for a late 20-something with no kids and a strong fondness for the memories wrapped up in this holiday but no desire to wear a gory-gross costume to an intimate gathering or get sexed up for a street party or even figure out some witty play on words, pop culture reference or news headline to costume myself for an evening of laughing at drunkards and turning in early.
I love Halloween.
I always have.
I don’t love the spiders or witch cauldron, bloody severed body parts or the living dead. I actually really don’t like makeup on my face and I think fake blood is lame. I really don’t like scary movies or haunted houses, but there is something about this time of the year that makes me smile, that makes me happy, that makes me think about how I have become the person I am today and how much those moments still impact me today.
I think the reality is I think 90% of my affinity for the holiday stems from quality time with my dad. I don’t ever remember the question of “what do you want to be for Halloween” coming up in our house. It was more like a constant nagging brainstorm on every Sunday afternoon in September...(after the Star Ledger and New York Times had been read and coffee consumed nagging Dad on a Sunday afternoon was fair game)...because as soon as the calendar flipped from September to October that meant Halloween was close. It meant we could pick out pumpkins and begin begging to carve them. It meant dad and I would have to begin creating whatever outlandish costume I had decided on that year.
There is something about making your own costume. Somehow between October 31 and September I would forget how hard it was to walk and trick or treat in a big box that we had turned into something incredible...but I loved that time then and I smile even more now thinking back on it.
I remember the year I was a witch and my brother was Batman. We were living in New Jersey and I think I dressed up for school and to trick or treat...which meant goopy green makeup had to be applied twice. I vaguely remember asking (or perhaps more accurately TELLING) my mom to apply the makeup all by myself. If I remember correctly...it meant I was in Maplewood...which also meant I was in Kindergarten or first grade. I also had a really big problem with the fact that my black shirt to be a witch had bright colorful buttons sewed to it...Sigh...
I also remember the year my dad helped me make (okay...lets be real...he made them) butterfly wings with my old preschool artwork. One year we did the classic blow up a bunch of balloons and put them inside a dry cleaning bag wrapped around your child exposing only their hands, legs below the knee and head... If I remember correctly, I couldn’t sit at my desk in school...I also don’t remember if I was a bag of grapes or a bag of jelly beans that year. I do remember loving that costume.
EIther the year before or the year after the witch I was a ballerina. If you have never heard the story of Lindsey as ballet dancer I will give you the abridged version. I was signed up for tap and ballet...great...I went to class...great...We had a recital...fantastic...my friend Erin Murray was in my class...fun...after the recital we went to Baskin Robbins for ice cream...I got bubble gum ice cream (my favorite at the time)...I signed up for a second year of dance class...it was because of the ice cream at the end...not the act of dancing...again, another indication of who I am today...EITHER WAY...I was a ballerina for Halloween. I was probably in first grade, because Ben in the stroller was a bee and not 2 weeks old...he was a yar old I am pretty sure. This costume was, I think, the most girly thing I chose to do in the early years of my life. That night was a FIGHT of epic proportions for a 6 year old. You see, my costume consisted of a leotard, tights and a tutu. We lived in New Jersey. October 31 in New Jersey is COLD. My mom made me put on a white sweater before she would let me go trick or treat. “BALLERINAS DO NOT WEAR SWEATERS!” I yelled. I don’t remember my mom replying...but the picture from Halloween that night is me...a pretty ballerina with tutu, eyeshaddow and a bun on my head...wearing a large, white sweater. Victory mom.
I remember lots of school parades for Halloween.
I remember being allowed to have candy and cupcakes and a party. It was the best day of school EVER! The world has changed a lot. Not only can we not celebrate religious holidays in school...we also can’t celebrate KID holidays in school anymore...
The best costumes (BY FAR!!!) that my dad and I ever made were The Empire State Building and an ATM. Both of these costumes had fatal flaws though. The Empire State Building was made in South Orange...so I was in 3rd or 4th grade...I think 4th because I am pretty sure I was a vampire in 3rd grade (even though that is lame) and I think I remember that because we have a class picture of Mrs. Leverett’s class...and a blonde boy in my class was a REALLY good Steve Urkle. Back to The Empire State Building though--THAT COSTUME WAS FREAKING HEAVY. Two weekends of paper mache on cardboard boxes just increased the weight of that structure. Let’s also be real, The Empire State Building is really tall...so was my costume...and my legs were covered with boxes, my knees could bend but not enough to walk up stairs (easily) to get to front doors to beg for candy. The next year, we learned. I was an ATM. I think I was in 5th grade because we were living in Raleigh. My dad and I went to the Nations Bank and we did rubbings with crayon of the logo and the surfaces of the ATM. Today we would probably be arrested doing things like that. We learned not to make the box so long and at least the ATM didn’t cover my knees...BUT...an ATM is square...we got too wide a box...and I couldn’t hold my trick or treat bag with both hands in front of me. (you know to open it up to random strangers so they could pour candy in it).
Subsequent years meant less ambition to create Halloween costumes. I do remember a band concert that fell on (or maybe just near) Halloween. We were allowed to wear costumes...and I am certain it was 1995 because I painted the Windows 95 logo on a T-shirt for the costume contest. I thought I was clever....
I don’t remember Halloween in High School...it wasn’t a big deal. In college, not so much either...I remember painting a green sweatsuit with Crayola markings to be a crayon one year...I think in college, but now that I am older I find myself wanting to observe this fantastic holiday again. I want trick or treaters to come to my house framed with glowing carved pumpkins and jack-o-lanterns and perhaps some artificial cobweb and a fake tombstone or two. I also want babies dressed in super-cute snuggly costumes... Someday...
I also remember the candy part of Halloween when we were younger. Ben, my brother is a number of years younger than me which means there were a number of years when I was able to sweet talk him out of my favorite candy and make trades like RAISINS for SKITTLES (might explain the two of us if you look at us today!) and even though as he got older and grew wise to my shenanigans, he never really “won” the Halloween Candy game in our house. You see, chocolates were usually taken out of the bag and put in the freezer...we could have one or two...but for a long while that was dad’s stash. Dad likes frozen Snickers and Milky Way if I remember correctly...
This practice left us with anything hard, chewy, fruity or <gasp> healthy. A few years I was also left with a few pennies...I think in Maplewood some of the older neighbors gave them out from a dish by their front door. I remember vividly thinking how cool it was they were giving me FREE MONEY! (sigh, to be young again!) But, that aside, back to what is important...my brother is frugal. He always has been. He lives effectively on budgets and planning. He would count dimes and save them all up for a big purchase. He did the same thing with his Halloween candy. He would trick or treat and then after sorting it and counting it he would stash it away in a pillowcase or plastic bin in a super-secret hiding place in his bedroom...usually in his closet, sometimes in the drawer under his bed...and he would forget about it. So, even once he was too smart to trade for raisins, I had a stellar stash at my disposal--as long as he was out of the house or playing outside and I could sneak into his room undetected. Seriously, the kid still had half a bin left one year when he went out trick or treating for more!
Halloweens since college have been filled with NFTY events that fell over Halloween weekend and 20-something nights of pumpkin carving and TV on the couch. I never bought in to the Nightmare on M Street deal in DC...and I didn’t think it was worth a $50 cover to get into a massive party in a club on U Street. The best Halloween memory in DC was going out to Butler’s with Bess and spending the day on the farm, picking out pumpkins and enjoying a DC fall day...We carved our pumpkins that year-mine had stars and swirls and my monogram carved in. Bess made a Rabbi with curly hair ringlets and even a little yarmulke I think...typical. OH...and the best Halloween treat in DC- Pumpkin custard from The Dairy Godmother...or that flavor they had that had crunchies on top and pumpkin seeds...man, I miss that place! One Halloween in DC I also remember dressing up for a costume contest at the gym...I was a tennis player in a white polo shirt and pink pleated skirt...such is the story of my life...
Last year, I asked Chris to pick out pumpkins and make time one night for us to carve. We did and the Thursday before Halloween we carved our pumpkins. I knew I would not be around for Halloween night--another NFTY regional event...such is life--so we celebrated early. Once again, our pumpkins were pretty indicative of our personalities. Chris was no-nonsense, loopy, wonky eyes, rounded triangle nose and a toothy grin. I spent time cutting stars and carving swirls, adding a crescent moon and finally adding a few bats into the night sky. This year, again we planned to carve pumpkins. Chris was more willing to plan this event this year. Last year I got a bit of pushback and silly comments about this being a bit childish. Chris found an organic farm this year to go and pick out our pumpkins. We drove out together and spent time looking at the produce and farm-made goods and left with 3 beautiful pumpkins. Saturday I told Chris I was going to carve the third before he got home--because it takes me longer to do one, let alone two--and I carved a lovely U for Miami and the ‘Miami’ text. We celebrated Halloween sitting by the pool, carving our classic pumpkins. I went with a vampire this year...he again opted for triangle eyes, triangle nose and toothy grin. “How many times do we have to do this before this is tradition,” Chris asked. “Do it once, something new...do it twice, it’s tradition!”
Who knows what all of this means for the future. I know that I want to be that house that has the Halloween party to beat all others. I am excited about the day I can peel grapes for eyeballs and have little kids walk on potato chip bones. I want to make costumes and invite trick or treaters...I love the fall season. Halloween and then Thanksgiving-another favorite. If only it would get a bit cooler here in Florida.
for now
LM
So, what does that mean for a late 20-something with no kids and a strong fondness for the memories wrapped up in this holiday but no desire to wear a gory-gross costume to an intimate gathering or get sexed up for a street party or even figure out some witty play on words, pop culture reference or news headline to costume myself for an evening of laughing at drunkards and turning in early.
I love Halloween.
I always have.
I don’t love the spiders or witch cauldron, bloody severed body parts or the living dead. I actually really don’t like makeup on my face and I think fake blood is lame. I really don’t like scary movies or haunted houses, but there is something about this time of the year that makes me smile, that makes me happy, that makes me think about how I have become the person I am today and how much those moments still impact me today.
I think the reality is I think 90% of my affinity for the holiday stems from quality time with my dad. I don’t ever remember the question of “what do you want to be for Halloween” coming up in our house. It was more like a constant nagging brainstorm on every Sunday afternoon in September...(after the Star Ledger and New York Times had been read and coffee consumed nagging Dad on a Sunday afternoon was fair game)...because as soon as the calendar flipped from September to October that meant Halloween was close. It meant we could pick out pumpkins and begin begging to carve them. It meant dad and I would have to begin creating whatever outlandish costume I had decided on that year.
There is something about making your own costume. Somehow between October 31 and September I would forget how hard it was to walk and trick or treat in a big box that we had turned into something incredible...but I loved that time then and I smile even more now thinking back on it.
I remember the year I was a witch and my brother was Batman. We were living in New Jersey and I think I dressed up for school and to trick or treat...which meant goopy green makeup had to be applied twice. I vaguely remember asking (or perhaps more accurately TELLING) my mom to apply the makeup all by myself. If I remember correctly...it meant I was in Maplewood...which also meant I was in Kindergarten or first grade. I also had a really big problem with the fact that my black shirt to be a witch had bright colorful buttons sewed to it...Sigh...
I also remember the year my dad helped me make (okay...lets be real...he made them) butterfly wings with my old preschool artwork. One year we did the classic blow up a bunch of balloons and put them inside a dry cleaning bag wrapped around your child exposing only their hands, legs below the knee and head... If I remember correctly, I couldn’t sit at my desk in school...I also don’t remember if I was a bag of grapes or a bag of jelly beans that year. I do remember loving that costume.
EIther the year before or the year after the witch I was a ballerina. If you have never heard the story of Lindsey as ballet dancer I will give you the abridged version. I was signed up for tap and ballet...great...I went to class...great...We had a recital...fantastic...my friend Erin Murray was in my class...fun...after the recital we went to Baskin Robbins for ice cream...I got bubble gum ice cream (my favorite at the time)...I signed up for a second year of dance class...it was because of the ice cream at the end...not the act of dancing...again, another indication of who I am today...EITHER WAY...I was a ballerina for Halloween. I was probably in first grade, because Ben in the stroller was a bee and not 2 weeks old...he was a yar old I am pretty sure. This costume was, I think, the most girly thing I chose to do in the early years of my life. That night was a FIGHT of epic proportions for a 6 year old. You see, my costume consisted of a leotard, tights and a tutu. We lived in New Jersey. October 31 in New Jersey is COLD. My mom made me put on a white sweater before she would let me go trick or treat. “BALLERINAS DO NOT WEAR SWEATERS!” I yelled. I don’t remember my mom replying...but the picture from Halloween that night is me...a pretty ballerina with tutu, eyeshaddow and a bun on my head...wearing a large, white sweater. Victory mom.
I remember lots of school parades for Halloween.
I remember being allowed to have candy and cupcakes and a party. It was the best day of school EVER! The world has changed a lot. Not only can we not celebrate religious holidays in school...we also can’t celebrate KID holidays in school anymore...
The best costumes (BY FAR!!!) that my dad and I ever made were The Empire State Building and an ATM. Both of these costumes had fatal flaws though. The Empire State Building was made in South Orange...so I was in 3rd or 4th grade...I think 4th because I am pretty sure I was a vampire in 3rd grade (even though that is lame) and I think I remember that because we have a class picture of Mrs. Leverett’s class...and a blonde boy in my class was a REALLY good Steve Urkle. Back to The Empire State Building though--THAT COSTUME WAS FREAKING HEAVY. Two weekends of paper mache on cardboard boxes just increased the weight of that structure. Let’s also be real, The Empire State Building is really tall...so was my costume...and my legs were covered with boxes, my knees could bend but not enough to walk up stairs (easily) to get to front doors to beg for candy. The next year, we learned. I was an ATM. I think I was in 5th grade because we were living in Raleigh. My dad and I went to the Nations Bank and we did rubbings with crayon of the logo and the surfaces of the ATM. Today we would probably be arrested doing things like that. We learned not to make the box so long and at least the ATM didn’t cover my knees...BUT...an ATM is square...we got too wide a box...and I couldn’t hold my trick or treat bag with both hands in front of me. (you know to open it up to random strangers so they could pour candy in it).
Subsequent years meant less ambition to create Halloween costumes. I do remember a band concert that fell on (or maybe just near) Halloween. We were allowed to wear costumes...and I am certain it was 1995 because I painted the Windows 95 logo on a T-shirt for the costume contest. I thought I was clever....
I don’t remember Halloween in High School...it wasn’t a big deal. In college, not so much either...I remember painting a green sweatsuit with Crayola markings to be a crayon one year...I think in college, but now that I am older I find myself wanting to observe this fantastic holiday again. I want trick or treaters to come to my house framed with glowing carved pumpkins and jack-o-lanterns and perhaps some artificial cobweb and a fake tombstone or two. I also want babies dressed in super-cute snuggly costumes... Someday...
I also remember the candy part of Halloween when we were younger. Ben, my brother is a number of years younger than me which means there were a number of years when I was able to sweet talk him out of my favorite candy and make trades like RAISINS for SKITTLES (might explain the two of us if you look at us today!) and even though as he got older and grew wise to my shenanigans, he never really “won” the Halloween Candy game in our house. You see, chocolates were usually taken out of the bag and put in the freezer...we could have one or two...but for a long while that was dad’s stash. Dad likes frozen Snickers and Milky Way if I remember correctly...
This practice left us with anything hard, chewy, fruity or <gasp> healthy. A few years I was also left with a few pennies...I think in Maplewood some of the older neighbors gave them out from a dish by their front door. I remember vividly thinking how cool it was they were giving me FREE MONEY! (sigh, to be young again!) But, that aside, back to what is important...my brother is frugal. He always has been. He lives effectively on budgets and planning. He would count dimes and save them all up for a big purchase. He did the same thing with his Halloween candy. He would trick or treat and then after sorting it and counting it he would stash it away in a pillowcase or plastic bin in a super-secret hiding place in his bedroom...usually in his closet, sometimes in the drawer under his bed...and he would forget about it. So, even once he was too smart to trade for raisins, I had a stellar stash at my disposal--as long as he was out of the house or playing outside and I could sneak into his room undetected. Seriously, the kid still had half a bin left one year when he went out trick or treating for more!
Halloweens since college have been filled with NFTY events that fell over Halloween weekend and 20-something nights of pumpkin carving and TV on the couch. I never bought in to the Nightmare on M Street deal in DC...and I didn’t think it was worth a $50 cover to get into a massive party in a club on U Street. The best Halloween memory in DC was going out to Butler’s with Bess and spending the day on the farm, picking out pumpkins and enjoying a DC fall day...We carved our pumpkins that year-mine had stars and swirls and my monogram carved in. Bess made a Rabbi with curly hair ringlets and even a little yarmulke I think...typical. OH...and the best Halloween treat in DC- Pumpkin custard from The Dairy Godmother...or that flavor they had that had crunchies on top and pumpkin seeds...man, I miss that place! One Halloween in DC I also remember dressing up for a costume contest at the gym...I was a tennis player in a white polo shirt and pink pleated skirt...such is the story of my life...
Last year, I asked Chris to pick out pumpkins and make time one night for us to carve. We did and the Thursday before Halloween we carved our pumpkins. I knew I would not be around for Halloween night--another NFTY regional event...such is life--so we celebrated early. Once again, our pumpkins were pretty indicative of our personalities. Chris was no-nonsense, loopy, wonky eyes, rounded triangle nose and a toothy grin. I spent time cutting stars and carving swirls, adding a crescent moon and finally adding a few bats into the night sky. This year, again we planned to carve pumpkins. Chris was more willing to plan this event this year. Last year I got a bit of pushback and silly comments about this being a bit childish. Chris found an organic farm this year to go and pick out our pumpkins. We drove out together and spent time looking at the produce and farm-made goods and left with 3 beautiful pumpkins. Saturday I told Chris I was going to carve the third before he got home--because it takes me longer to do one, let alone two--and I carved a lovely U for Miami and the ‘Miami’ text. We celebrated Halloween sitting by the pool, carving our classic pumpkins. I went with a vampire this year...he again opted for triangle eyes, triangle nose and toothy grin. “How many times do we have to do this before this is tradition,” Chris asked. “Do it once, something new...do it twice, it’s tradition!”
Who knows what all of this means for the future. I know that I want to be that house that has the Halloween party to beat all others. I am excited about the day I can peel grapes for eyeballs and have little kids walk on potato chip bones. I want to make costumes and invite trick or treaters...I love the fall season. Halloween and then Thanksgiving-another favorite. If only it would get a bit cooler here in Florida.
for now
LM
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