There are some days when the things I find myself doing by the end of the day are no where NEAR what I anticipated doing at the beginning of the day. Today has CERTAINLY been one of those days.
It is no secret that as Professional Youth Worker I find myself seeing inspiration and educational opportunities in the most obscure as well as the most obvious places. I cannot lie, there have been times when MTV has provided great educational resources. They have intentionally educated their viewing population about issues like voting and AIDS, same sex relationships and the reality of the war and how it impacts members of the current generation. Today it was brought to my attention that MTV has aired an episode of their popular “Challenge” that offers more educational opportunities than I am sure they anticipated.
Midday I opened an email from one of my oldest friends from summer camp. She had received a forward, a letter from a co-worker that had been sent to MTV to express her disgust with the first episode of The Challenge:Cutthroat.
This season MTV has presented “The Challenge:Cutthroat,” where members of past casts of The Challenge, Real World and Road Rules come together to battle for the “handsome reward,” win challenges for cash and other prizes all while drinking their nights away. It has never been a secret that these battles are alcohol induced nights of making out, breaking up and making up before going face to face in physical challenges.
I can’t lie--upon reading this email--I had to see it for myself. I wasn’t sure if others had expressed concern to MTV and if the episode would still be posted, to my disgust, surprise and intellectual/educational joy, the episode was still posted. It didn’t take more than 5 minutes of this show to be disgusted beyond belief with the presentation.
I cannot believe this show made it so far, through production, through all of the little guys and the big-wigs and not a single person would question whether this was an inappropriate or insensitive topic to broach.
So here is my run-down of this first episode and the moments that have made me think, the moments I am still processing, the things I cannot believe MTV broadcast.
The Challenge:Cutthroat is set in Prague, in the Czech Republic. For those of you that don’t know, this is an area that experienced incredible change as a result of WW2 and the Jewish presence in community is still impacted today.
The episode begins with a running race to an unknown location. There are air raid sirens blaring. TJ Lavin, the host starts with “This is the Gulag.” and the editing quickly cuts to Dan, one of the contestants saying “Our gulag is like something out of some crazy like World War Two like Science Fiction Movie. Everything about it spells pain and torture.”
Now, I did not know exactly what a “gulag” was, but a quick Google search confirmed my suspicions. The Gulag or GULag was the government agency that administered over the Soviet penal labor camp system. The Gulag was officially created in 1930 and dissolved in 1960 but in March of 1940 there were 53 camps and 423 labor colonies in the USSR. The population in these camps varied greatly but their connection to World War Two and the prisoners, many of whom were imprisoned due to their acts against and intolerance of the government of the time.
So back to the episode...
The “Gulag” is where elimination rounds will take place.
<<man...we are not even 5 minutes into this 45 minutes online episode...>>
A few more minutes into the show, a night of celebration for the contestants and a number of drinks later, the contestants receive a text on their T-Mobile phones...
“You may shed some tears at tomorrow challenge”
Cut to reflections from the cast, some talk about cutting up onions and then there is a resounding “Tear Gas!”
As contestants walk up, we see symbols marking the area ‘toxic’ or ‘radioactive’
TJ announces again their location, Prague in the Czech Republic as the teams walk up to the challenge and then he says “Today’s challenge is called ‘Gas Problems.’”
The essence of the challenge is contestants pair up and run into a gas chamber and have to read a series of letters and numbers to decipher a code. Now, initially...after just reading the email, I thought the players were locked in the chamber and had to decipher the code to get out...it is not QUITE that horrific...but for those of us (perhaps more) well versed on our World War Two history...the idea of people running into a chamber emitting a cloudy gas into the air and then hearing quotations from the contestants impacted me viscerally...I am disgusted MTV...
16 minutes into this only presentation you see gas filling the gas chamber (albeit tear gas) and then contestants start sharing their feelings via voiceover and cut to testimonial a la MTV Reality shows...
“[it was] pretty tough to control your breathing.” says a female contestant
“My brain is not functioning properly because my eyes are burning...I am breathing in what feels like fire,” says Johnny, a Challenge and MTV Veteran.
And then when a contestant has to return because he did not remember the right code Theresa is edited in to share her sentiment that “You better sprint your ass as fast as you can back into that gas chamber and don’t mess it up this time.”
Shavaun, a girly-girl and team captain is then quoted as saying “I am freaked out I have to go into a gas chamber.”
We continue watching and hear other contestants reflecting on their challenges, their ability to compete and their physical responses to the gas in the chamber.
“I am shaking--convulsing back and forth, the pain is so bad I am actually afraid I am going to go blind.” Tyler says and then his partner comments that if he cannot do it, she will have to do it for him.
Dan, who commented early in the show about the World War Two influences of the set then says “I had a flashback of having to do this in the military,” and then he proceeds to begin gagging.
The games continue, a team wins, and then TJ awards the prizes and the money and announces that each of the two losing teams will need to nominate 1 guy and 2 girl to send into the Gulag. Let’s break this down...one guy...and one girl...from each team has to go into the arena that is named after the political prison...On top of that, once back at the home...each teammate will go down into the dungeon and vote in secret for the person that will go into the Gulag.
Once TJ announces who will battle in the arena, we then see another night of drinking and debauchery akin to MTV Reality challenges...and we proceed to the Gulag.
Teams arrive to air raid sirens and TJ’s announcement that “This is the Gulag.” and “Tonight you will be playing handcuffs.”
I don’t know why I felt the need to watch and assess this episode with such a sharp eye...but I also know that this is something that the general public will watch without knowledge and with a zombie-like acceptance just like many other things that are inappropriate on TV today. I just don’t understand how this episode went through as many filters as a major network must have to clear a show for airing.
I just don’t get it.
I want this to raise awareness. I feel like I need to do more to ‘raise hell.‘ I don’t want to boycott MTV...because I DO think they have done so much to make their viewing audience aware of a issues in the world around them that they may not have experienced the say way before.
I have to think about it more. I don’t know just yet how I want to react...but I know...this is NOT okay...what do you think?
for now
LM
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
Monday, October 11, 2010
on being happy
Do ONE thing every day that makes you happy.
It is a lot easier said then done...
Nearly a year ago I was sitting across the table from one of the few people in this world that has always taken time to not just hear what I am saying, but to listen too. I had been living in Tampa for just a few months and I was still really struggling with the transition to life down here. I was not sure if I was where I was supposed to be. I was living in what could have been as opposed to what was. I was choosing to look at what I didn’t have anymore instead of what I did have. Sitting across that table with parallel conversations happening-Me, intently listening...but probably sharing more while Chris talked boats happily right next to me. Something hit me after that conversation...as happens with most after these great talks...and I realized that I need to not only SAY I am going to make a difference...but I need to DO SOMETHING to remind me why it is so important to hold myself accountable to DO ONE THINGS EVERY DAY THAT MAKES ME HAPPY!
It was actually a phone call I received on Monday, November 16 that made me start this process--but I promised myself that every day, for the next 365 days I would do something that made me happy. Some days it has been something I have done for the reason of making a personal decision to do something for me...some days I have found true and pure joy in what I was doing anyway. Either way...with just a few weeks until I have marked 12 months, 52 weeks, 365 days of happiness--I decided to look back to where it all began.
There have been very few people who know I am actually doing this project. I talk about it occasionally but I am not sure who knows that I literally sit with a blank calendar, sometimes daily..sometimes weekly...and yesterday, I filled in 3 weeks...with little pictures that represent the things I have done, the moments I don’t want to forget, the things that make me happy.
My first year in Tampa has not been an easy one. I struggle often with what brought me here. I battle regularly with what I want most, what I am striving for and how I am supposed to get there from this starting point. I still don’t know the answer to any of these questions--what I do know, is taking the time to focus on what IS and what makes things better is more beneficial than dwelling on the unknown and the struggles I face (or feel I face) on a regular basis.
Honestly, this process makes me want to blog the 365 days of happiness NEXT year....but...we will see...
for now
LM
It is a lot easier said then done...
Nearly a year ago I was sitting across the table from one of the few people in this world that has always taken time to not just hear what I am saying, but to listen too. I had been living in Tampa for just a few months and I was still really struggling with the transition to life down here. I was not sure if I was where I was supposed to be. I was living in what could have been as opposed to what was. I was choosing to look at what I didn’t have anymore instead of what I did have. Sitting across that table with parallel conversations happening-Me, intently listening...but probably sharing more while Chris talked boats happily right next to me. Something hit me after that conversation...as happens with most after these great talks...and I realized that I need to not only SAY I am going to make a difference...but I need to DO SOMETHING to remind me why it is so important to hold myself accountable to DO ONE THINGS EVERY DAY THAT MAKES ME HAPPY!
It was actually a phone call I received on Monday, November 16 that made me start this process--but I promised myself that every day, for the next 365 days I would do something that made me happy. Some days it has been something I have done for the reason of making a personal decision to do something for me...some days I have found true and pure joy in what I was doing anyway. Either way...with just a few weeks until I have marked 12 months, 52 weeks, 365 days of happiness--I decided to look back to where it all began.
There have been very few people who know I am actually doing this project. I talk about it occasionally but I am not sure who knows that I literally sit with a blank calendar, sometimes daily..sometimes weekly...and yesterday, I filled in 3 weeks...with little pictures that represent the things I have done, the moments I don’t want to forget, the things that make me happy.
My first year in Tampa has not been an easy one. I struggle often with what brought me here. I battle regularly with what I want most, what I am striving for and how I am supposed to get there from this starting point. I still don’t know the answer to any of these questions--what I do know, is taking the time to focus on what IS and what makes things better is more beneficial than dwelling on the unknown and the struggles I face (or feel I face) on a regular basis.
Honestly, this process makes me want to blog the 365 days of happiness NEXT year....but...we will see...
for now
LM
Thursday, October 7, 2010
on music and my past
For as long as I can remember, music has been something that has had the ability to take me from any place and instantly transfer me to another time and place entirely. Yes, there are songs that so viscerally impact my psyche that I have to physically stop what I am doing to regroup, remind myself of my ACTUAL location, and proceed with the given task at hand.
Said songs include...
“Sailing” by Christopher Cross...yes...it was on Glee last week...that is really what made me start thinking about this. I know, most people don’t know who sang this little gem. However, most of my friends could tell you the answer in an instant. Well, my closest friends...because I think for many of them, they have the same instant reaction. Instantly I am 12, 16, 21 and 27 all at the same time. I am 12 awkwardly dancing with a boy inside the cage in very little lighting. I am 16 in a circle with 15 CILTs and Trainees. I am 21 smiling at my (now) 11 year old campers awkwardly dancing with a boy in slightly more lighting. I am 27 trying to remember how we coil those wires appropriately to pack up this dance. It is really a dynamic phenomenon.
“MmmBop” by Hanson...okay...now before you start judging my taste in music...(or continue judging?) I feel it is important to reiterate that I am a PROUD child of the 80s and grew up straddling the late 80s and early 90s. Hanson peaked in America in my early high school years and this song came to be an anthem of sorts at camp. We had our own dance! The summer of 1997 in particular it was played ALL.THE.TIME! For me, whenever I hear those nonsensical lyrics belted by pre-pubescent brothers (early JoBros if you will) who are all, for the record, now married! I am taken to the Camp Seafarer office. I am sitting at a desk with the window open...taking the most important test (to me) of my young life. With those 2 hours and MmmBop Day on the pier, my knowledge of the 7 signs of a mammal, 3 types of Basketball defenses, proper care for a horse saddle and the parts of a bow and arrow, tennis racquet, canoe and oar all meld together to form the memory of my General’s Written Exam. Sitting in a circle with the Land UAs and Camp Director Team just a few hours later--one of my proudest moments...still...to this day. Thank you Hanson.
“We Danced Anyway” by Deana Carter...I am 19 or so. I am driving, windows down, BELTING. With my best friends. We maybe are driving to dinner...maybe it is June, or October or February. No matter when it was...once I was NC...this song is what brought two feuding teens together...in my head, this song is me and CA and our friendship and the history that brought us to that time in our lives.
“Closer to Fine” by Indigo Girls...when I was in high school I wanted to buy and Indigo Girls CD and my mom asked me if I was gay. So, yes...that is an odd association...but whenever I hear this song, I am standing in a temple, in Kansas, in Nebraska, in Missouri...who knows. Guitars are playing and we are singing. It is blissful ignorance. It is NFTY before it became a job. It is why I am who I am. It is the feeling I want to create for the kids I work with now.
“Fast Car” by Tracy Chapman...I am maybe 7 or 8...maybe a little older...but not much. My dad is driving his (not so) fast car...Ford Hatchback...in that goldish/champagne color with a SWEET Cassette player. I think I rewound this cassette SO MANY TIMES it might have stopped playing (or my dad hid the tape). It didn’t matter where we were driving...10 minutes, hour, longer...this song was playing when I was in the car with my dad. I would go ANYWHERE with him. I still would...I miss that time...a lot.
“Faith” by George Michael...I am in Norfolk, Virginia surrounded by NFTY-MAR dancing and bouncing on inflatables. My mom is at Spring Kallah 2008 and it is weird. I was in the hospital a week earlier with a septic gallbladder and I didn’t know how I was going to GET to Spring Kallah...but I knew I was not going to miss this event...3 2-year board members were graduating...(and countless others) and elections I was happy to not have a vote in were on the agenda...I remember lots of details...it was not that long ago, but I will NEVER forget being surrounded by boys on the dance floor and Miriam having to rescue me. This song also makes me think of my dad...and a great group of girls that I am certain have no idea how much they taught me.
“We’re All in This Together” from High School Musical...yes...I know...goodness gracious...you must all really not believe me...from this list...my taste in music is not just questionable...it is really horribly, RANCID. This has nothing to do with sitting and watching TV...I honestly watched HSM because my high schoolers could not stop talking about it...and well, I saw HSM3 in the THEATER with the BEST group of girls a girl could ask for...after a great (GREAT!) night in NoVa...BUT...this song brings me instantly to the Beit Am at Kutz during Mechina, and Boards, and, well, all summer at Camp...thank you Andrew...you just put a smile on my face--just thinking about it!
“Purple Rain” by Prince or The Artist or The Artist Formerly Known As Prince or the symbol...whatever. I was really little. I am dancing on my dads feet. I love my dad. Enough said.
That is just a small sample. I am an auditory person. Sounds and songs trigger for me. So, what does that matter...why do you care and why am I all of a sudden writing about it today?
three words
ZAC
BROWN
BAND
yeah, chicken fried...yadda yadda yadda...I kinda hate that song now...but it was catchy for a week and it did make me buy the whole album and it did introduce me to one of the most talented musical groups I have heard in years. Not because they have the best voices I have ever heard...not because I always love the super-twangy folky country they slip into...not because Jimmy Buffett has also fallen in love with these guys (and he has...he doesn’t sing with others the way he has adopted these gents...but that is a perk!) These guys are INCREDIBLE story tellers through their music. If you have only listen to Chicken Fried...PLEASE give these guys another listen.
Highway 20 Ride, Toes, Whatever It Is, Where the Boat Leaves From...my heart is fluttering. I hope Parker appreciates the sentiments I am feeling right now. Clear skies, cool early summer evening, cruising around the county, heading over to the beach, an evening in New Bern...it doesn’t matter...this CD was the soundtrack of the summer of 2008.
Now, the guys have released their sophomore, er, Junior? er Senior? CD (if you count the live recordings that were released last year AND live from Bonaroo.) I finally bucked up and bought the deluxe edition on iTunes...and I cannot complain...not one bit...The words these guys find to string together their thoughts and their feelings and the collective understanding of (my) life right now...I just can’t handle it.
I think though, it is tied to the feeling of freedom I associate with the raspy refrains I think of when I hear ZBB. I want to take a REALLY LONG ROAD TRIP RIGHT NOW...so I can just listen on repeat...over and over and over again. I want these songs to fill my head and I want the time to invest in me. I want to rejuvenate and refresh. I want to be...with the windows down...unrestricted...untied...able to just think and be and do and go and grow and process and learn and teach and not have to justify all the damn time. I need an intellectual outlet too...badly...
Now following that little rant...here is a sampling of the goodness that is ZBB’s album, YOU GET WHAT YOU GIVE...and if THAT inherently isn’t a clue that these guys are right up my alley...well...then, Hi...my name is Lindsey...we need to spend more time getting to know one another....
From “As She’s Walking Away”
Now I'm falling in love as she's walking away
And my heart won't tell my mind
To tell my mouth what it should say
I may have lost this battle
Live to fight another day
Now I'm fallin in love as she's walkin away
From “Martin”
Stronger than steel and wood.
Seen me through the bad and good.
And when I'm hanging by a string,
Every little thing
Is understood
Between Martin and me.
From “Let It Go”
You keep your heart above your head and you eyes wide open
So this world can't find a way to leave you cold
And know you're not the only ship out on the ocean
Save your strength for things that you can change
Forgive the ones you can't
You gotta let 'em go
Looking back now on my life I can't say I regret it
And all the places that I ended up not the way Ma woulda had it
But you only get once chance at life to leave your mark upon it
And when a pony he comes riding by you better set your sweet ass on it
From “Make This Day”
We’re gonna make this day (make this day)
a little better than the last (better than the last)
Its amazing how slow a day like this can pass
Find a way to wash away (way to wash away)
any regrets you have
don’t let this moment pass
live inside this day.
I think that is all the philosophizing I am going to do today...
I am irritated still.
I want more.
for now though.
LM
Said songs include...
“Sailing” by Christopher Cross...yes...it was on Glee last week...that is really what made me start thinking about this. I know, most people don’t know who sang this little gem. However, most of my friends could tell you the answer in an instant. Well, my closest friends...because I think for many of them, they have the same instant reaction. Instantly I am 12, 16, 21 and 27 all at the same time. I am 12 awkwardly dancing with a boy inside the cage in very little lighting. I am 16 in a circle with 15 CILTs and Trainees. I am 21 smiling at my (now) 11 year old campers awkwardly dancing with a boy in slightly more lighting. I am 27 trying to remember how we coil those wires appropriately to pack up this dance. It is really a dynamic phenomenon.
“MmmBop” by Hanson...okay...now before you start judging my taste in music...(or continue judging?) I feel it is important to reiterate that I am a PROUD child of the 80s and grew up straddling the late 80s and early 90s. Hanson peaked in America in my early high school years and this song came to be an anthem of sorts at camp. We had our own dance! The summer of 1997 in particular it was played ALL.THE.TIME! For me, whenever I hear those nonsensical lyrics belted by pre-pubescent brothers (early JoBros if you will) who are all, for the record, now married! I am taken to the Camp Seafarer office. I am sitting at a desk with the window open...taking the most important test (to me) of my young life. With those 2 hours and MmmBop Day on the pier, my knowledge of the 7 signs of a mammal, 3 types of Basketball defenses, proper care for a horse saddle and the parts of a bow and arrow, tennis racquet, canoe and oar all meld together to form the memory of my General’s Written Exam. Sitting in a circle with the Land UAs and Camp Director Team just a few hours later--one of my proudest moments...still...to this day. Thank you Hanson.
“We Danced Anyway” by Deana Carter...I am 19 or so. I am driving, windows down, BELTING. With my best friends. We maybe are driving to dinner...maybe it is June, or October or February. No matter when it was...once I was NC...this song is what brought two feuding teens together...in my head, this song is me and CA and our friendship and the history that brought us to that time in our lives.
“Closer to Fine” by Indigo Girls...when I was in high school I wanted to buy and Indigo Girls CD and my mom asked me if I was gay. So, yes...that is an odd association...but whenever I hear this song, I am standing in a temple, in Kansas, in Nebraska, in Missouri...who knows. Guitars are playing and we are singing. It is blissful ignorance. It is NFTY before it became a job. It is why I am who I am. It is the feeling I want to create for the kids I work with now.
“Fast Car” by Tracy Chapman...I am maybe 7 or 8...maybe a little older...but not much. My dad is driving his (not so) fast car...Ford Hatchback...in that goldish/champagne color with a SWEET Cassette player. I think I rewound this cassette SO MANY TIMES it might have stopped playing (or my dad hid the tape). It didn’t matter where we were driving...10 minutes, hour, longer...this song was playing when I was in the car with my dad. I would go ANYWHERE with him. I still would...I miss that time...a lot.
“Faith” by George Michael...I am in Norfolk, Virginia surrounded by NFTY-MAR dancing and bouncing on inflatables. My mom is at Spring Kallah 2008 and it is weird. I was in the hospital a week earlier with a septic gallbladder and I didn’t know how I was going to GET to Spring Kallah...but I knew I was not going to miss this event...3 2-year board members were graduating...(and countless others) and elections I was happy to not have a vote in were on the agenda...I remember lots of details...it was not that long ago, but I will NEVER forget being surrounded by boys on the dance floor and Miriam having to rescue me. This song also makes me think of my dad...and a great group of girls that I am certain have no idea how much they taught me.
“We’re All in This Together” from High School Musical...yes...I know...goodness gracious...you must all really not believe me...from this list...my taste in music is not just questionable...it is really horribly, RANCID. This has nothing to do with sitting and watching TV...I honestly watched HSM because my high schoolers could not stop talking about it...and well, I saw HSM3 in the THEATER with the BEST group of girls a girl could ask for...after a great (GREAT!) night in NoVa...BUT...this song brings me instantly to the Beit Am at Kutz during Mechina, and Boards, and, well, all summer at Camp...thank you Andrew...you just put a smile on my face--just thinking about it!
“Purple Rain” by Prince or The Artist or The Artist Formerly Known As Prince or the symbol...whatever. I was really little. I am dancing on my dads feet. I love my dad. Enough said.
That is just a small sample. I am an auditory person. Sounds and songs trigger for me. So, what does that matter...why do you care and why am I all of a sudden writing about it today?
three words
ZAC
BROWN
BAND
yeah, chicken fried...yadda yadda yadda...I kinda hate that song now...but it was catchy for a week and it did make me buy the whole album and it did introduce me to one of the most talented musical groups I have heard in years. Not because they have the best voices I have ever heard...not because I always love the super-twangy folky country they slip into...not because Jimmy Buffett has also fallen in love with these guys (and he has...he doesn’t sing with others the way he has adopted these gents...but that is a perk!) These guys are INCREDIBLE story tellers through their music. If you have only listen to Chicken Fried...PLEASE give these guys another listen.
Highway 20 Ride, Toes, Whatever It Is, Where the Boat Leaves From...my heart is fluttering. I hope Parker appreciates the sentiments I am feeling right now. Clear skies, cool early summer evening, cruising around the county, heading over to the beach, an evening in New Bern...it doesn’t matter...this CD was the soundtrack of the summer of 2008.
Now, the guys have released their sophomore, er, Junior? er Senior? CD (if you count the live recordings that were released last year AND live from Bonaroo.) I finally bucked up and bought the deluxe edition on iTunes...and I cannot complain...not one bit...The words these guys find to string together their thoughts and their feelings and the collective understanding of (my) life right now...I just can’t handle it.
I think though, it is tied to the feeling of freedom I associate with the raspy refrains I think of when I hear ZBB. I want to take a REALLY LONG ROAD TRIP RIGHT NOW...so I can just listen on repeat...over and over and over again. I want these songs to fill my head and I want the time to invest in me. I want to rejuvenate and refresh. I want to be...with the windows down...unrestricted...untied...able to just think and be and do and go and grow and process and learn and teach and not have to justify all the damn time. I need an intellectual outlet too...badly...
Now following that little rant...here is a sampling of the goodness that is ZBB’s album, YOU GET WHAT YOU GIVE...and if THAT inherently isn’t a clue that these guys are right up my alley...well...then, Hi...my name is Lindsey...we need to spend more time getting to know one another....
From “As She’s Walking Away”
Now I'm falling in love as she's walking away
And my heart won't tell my mind
To tell my mouth what it should say
I may have lost this battle
Live to fight another day
Now I'm fallin in love as she's walkin away
From “Martin”
Stronger than steel and wood.
Seen me through the bad and good.
And when I'm hanging by a string,
Every little thing
Is understood
Between Martin and me.
From “Let It Go”
You keep your heart above your head and you eyes wide open
So this world can't find a way to leave you cold
And know you're not the only ship out on the ocean
Save your strength for things that you can change
Forgive the ones you can't
You gotta let 'em go
Looking back now on my life I can't say I regret it
And all the places that I ended up not the way Ma woulda had it
But you only get once chance at life to leave your mark upon it
And when a pony he comes riding by you better set your sweet ass on it
From “Make This Day”
We’re gonna make this day (make this day)
a little better than the last (better than the last)
Its amazing how slow a day like this can pass
Find a way to wash away (way to wash away)
any regrets you have
don’t let this moment pass
live inside this day.
I think that is all the philosophizing I am going to do today...
I am irritated still.
I want more.
for now though.
LM
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